Do Your Homework!

Now that you have made the decision to walk to the beat of your own metaphorical drum; What should your next step be? It is clear that you have done SOME research, or you would not have been able to choose your next journey.

Google! Yes Google damnit! Read it ALL. With each link and reading, you should either be able to pick up a key word/ topic or at least now have questions. Read until you feel like you can talk to an experienced lifestyler to gain more insight and direction on your journey. Reading really is fundamental! Check out book sites. Grab some e-books and/or physical books. Being able to quickly read reference points will be very helpful. Youtube is also your friend. Everyone learns differently, visual stimuli is always helpful.

Get a mentor! Ask someone who has been engaging in the LS for an extended period to assist in guiding you. This will be a tremendous help. You will have the opportunity to talk through questions, comments, etc. You will learn more about self and what your future in the LS will look like within a judgement free zone.

Next I advise you surround yourself with like minded people. Your social scene should broaden. You should have a group of vanilla ( non lifestylers) friends. You should also have a LS circle. That group of people where you can be you without judgement. This circle will yield opportunities, experiences, comfort and the ability to identify with others.

Remember that even though these people are lifestylers, they are still people. The BEST way to make friendly AND be more readily accepted is to just be YOU! Be friendly, outgoing even, Why? Because the more comfortable people are with connecting with you the better for you. Even though these environments can be sexually charged, no one likes a "thirsty" impatient playmate.

Understand what you seek in this LS. Is it multiple consistent play partners? Could you be seeking to be single in the lifestyle and experience what it has to offer? Maybe you want to explore some kinks or freaky play that you have only seen on porntube. Whatever it is - KNOW what you are seeking. Write it down if you want. Whatever you need to do to commit it to memory. You want to be able to articulate why you are here and what you seek. It is very common for your LS to either change or you to participate in multiple lifestyles. Just be careful and go back to step one. READ.

Most Importantly - Read and Re-Read. You will be judged. Maybe not on your fetishes, kinks or freaky behavior but your personality, decision making and physical appearance will be under constant scrutiny. Messy people get labeled. Not following play within the perimeters explained to you will get you black listed. Example: Sexing with married partners whose spouse is not aware. Sleeping with a new partner in your circle every night. Being verbally or physically abusive or disrespectful will also put a Scarlet Letter on your head.

Let's recap.

Research. Find like-minded people. Get a mentor. Ask questions. Don't be disrespectful.

- LadyVerb