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Going to the Doctor with Kink-Related Marks or Bruises

It's happened to the best of us. You and your partner got a little frisky the other day and now you have a few bruises that haven't faded yet. Your Doctor's appointment is this afternoon, what do you do?

First of all, don't panic. Then, don't cancel your appointment until you have read this post. It may be unnecessary.

What We Know

Doctors are first reporters. This means they are obligated to report certain signs of abuse to the authorities. This is the case from the ER nurse to your dermatologist. It's one of the best ways that doctors can help fight and prevent all sorts of abuse. Most of what we do behind closed doors can look like domestic abuse to the untrained eye (and some trained ones). I realize that this can make you even more timid to showing up at your doctor's office with bruising and other marks but follow me for a second.

Doctor's and other health professionals are trained to notice not only the physical signs but the underlying psychological and mental symptoms of abuse. We all know that in a well caring D/s environment we shouldn't be exhibiting any of these symptoms.

We also know that keeping secrets from your medical professionals, while it seems the right thing to do, could actually put you into a suspect category. If your doctor asks you about marks that they notice, tell them the honest truth. Something like, "my boyfriend and I are into kinky things and sometimes it gets rough during sex." Trust me, physicians have heard and seen it all. Those stories that we hear of people having to the to ER because they lost something inside are not a myth.

Access Your Doctor

You know your doctor best.

  • What is your impression of them?

  • Are they friendly and open or traditionalist and old-fashioned?

  • Are you comfortable talking about sex related issues with them?

  • How well do they listen to you?

  • Would you be comfortable going to them for your annual exam/pap smear?

The answers to these questions will help you figure out if your doctor would be someone to open up to about your sexual activities or not. I admit that I've been pretty lucky with my doctors on the first try but you may not. Are you willing to seek a new doctor if they tell you they are uncomfortable treating you because of your preferences or that they might encounter marks? These doctors, of course, make me wonder if they have that issue with people into body modification as well; some of that can get pretty interesting.

My past doctors have been fine with it. In fact, one issue I had was fainting while standing still for a while, which I discovered while tied up in a standing position. When I told the doctor how I had found this out, he had me run a heart rate monitor while standing still with my hands above my head in the office. This doctor even helped me figure out that I had likely locked my knees and didn't discourage my kinky nature, but helped me find alternatives or movements I could work into the play that would help blood flow.

Make a Decision Before You Go

If you have this strong feeling that your doctor won't accept your sexual identity then I suggest you postpone your appointment. I'd also postpone my appointment if the marks would interfere with the tests or visit. (Severe bruising of the breasts can interfere with lump tests, for example.)

Looking for a new doctor may be a good choice if you feel you'll have to be more open due to issues that come up as a result of playtime activities. If this is the case, there are Kink Aware Professionals that try to get listed on the NCSF website. You can search for ones in your area on the KAP site.

*edits made by Mistress Urban & Princess Ja'Nilah

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